C.S.I. Gabby

Noted animal lovers marvel at beach ducks

Yesterday morning, soon after I left my driveway, I noticed a rabbit laid out on the street. Road kill. Poor thing. And on I went to work. That evening I arrive home with the Gs. They stayed outside to play while I got dinner ready inside. About 10 minutes later.

GABBY: (running to the garage and coming in the house) Daaaaaaaaad! Daaaaaaaaad! DAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

ME: Yes sweetie.

GABBY: Look what’s outside! Come here! Look! The dogs are eating something!

ME: (uninterested) They are? What are they eating?

GABBY: I don’t know. … (pause) .. I think it’s roast beef.

ME: Roast beef??

GABBY: Yeah!

Out the door we go to the yard. I see Gabby’s kitten, Binx, hungrily ripping into something. On closer inspecting, the something is what used to be that rabbit. At least I think it was. I guess this by the four furry legs remaining. The rest of the animal is clean carcass. No hair. No entrails. Nothing. Piranhas leave more behind.

GABBY: What is it dad?

ME: (playing dumb, looking for a shovel) I don’t know. I don’t know what it is.

GABBY: Is it roast beef? It looks like roast beef.

ME: ….

I find a shovel, pick up the remains, and carry them across the road into the woods. When I return, Gabby continues thinking aloud.

GABBY: I bet I know what that was dad. I know what it was.

ME: What was it?

GABBY: It was a monkey! It was up in the trees! And it fell down! And the dogs ate it! It was a monkey. I know it.

ME: ….

That night the wife and I have our daily end-of-day conversation. Almost verbatim I tell her the above. She begins laughing even before the monkey business. When done, she tells me.

WIFE: When I was laying down with Gabby, she said, “Guess what, mom! There was a monkey in the yard! It fell out the trees! And the dogs ate it!” I had no idea what she was talking about.

And even when I do know I still have no idea.


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