State troopers don’t have time for colored eggs

Two quick stories from the weekend.

Random trooper photoEaster morning the wife, the Gs and I left my dad’s house for a family Easter egg hunt. It was about 10:30 a.m. Roughly 10 minutes into our drive we encountered a state trooper check-point.

On Easter Sunday. A check-point. Really?

A trooper stood on the center line. He was rotating to and fro checking licenses in both lanes of backed up traffic. I got mine out and waited. When it was our turn, I handed my plastic over. The trooper took one glance and said,

“This is an expired license.”

ME: “What? Really?”

(Trooper shows me my license. Sure enough, it expired two Fridays ago)

TROOPER: “You are an illegal driver, sir. (Looks to my wife) Do you have your license?”

WIFE: “Yes.”

TROOPER: (Doesn’t ask to see her license, but says to me) “I’m gonna have to ask you to drive up a bit and switch seats with her. You are an illegal driver.”

ME: O … K.

(I illegally operate my motor vehicle about 10 yards and pull onto the side of the road. I get out the driver’s seat and walk around to the passenger side. The wife hops the console between the seats and buckles in. Outside the window, a man wearing a cowboy hat and driving a pickup truck waves at us.

MAN: (Shouting) Sucks, don’t it!

Yeah, it did.

So Tuesday I headed to the driver’s license office for a new card. Gabby went with me. I brought along a coloring book to occupy her. After a 20 minute wait, we were called back into the main office. There were about 18 chairs in a square formation of four rows on one side of the room, the all-important DMV computer desks on the other. The chairs were hybrid desk chairs, with a small table forming from the right arm rest. Gabby took one. I took another. The rest were empty.
Another few minutes past before I was called to a desk. As I took my brief sign exam, Gabby hummed to herself behind me, still busy coloring. Other people were being called in, and soon about eight chairs had waiting occupants.

Once I finished the brief tests, the DMV officer called me over to the blue screen for a new photo. When I stood and walked over, Gabby looked up. She quickly held up her coloring and said, rather loudly,

“Look, daddy. Look what I did!”

ME: (Looking at the bird she colored) That’s looks good, sweetie. You colored a bird.

GABBY: (Again, rather loudly). That’s not a bird! It’s a parrot!

WAITING CROWND: (Smiles, giggles)

Turns out, there is humor at the DMV.

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