So I’m tailgating Saturday feeding Big G some toes when a woman I’ve never met approaches. She had been engrossed in a conversation some 15 yards away when Big G’s eye caught her eye and reeled her in.
“Excuse me, sorry to intrude,” she said, as I at first worried she was social services. (First panic thought “I SWEAR HE’S NOT REALLY EATING HIS TOES! I SWEAR!”)
“Hello,” I said instead.
“But that baby has the longest eye lashes I have ever seen! I saw them from over there and just had to see them up close for myself. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … how cute!”
We shared a laugh, then she left. I wasn’t sure what perplexed me more.
A. That the Bionic Woman would be an App fan. (Could have sworn she’d root for that school down in Winston, being fake and all)
B. That, yes, Big G has not eyelashes by eyetentacles. (Beware when he blinks or you’ll scar)
Where’s my scissors ……