Kernels of conversation

The shark’s name is boo-boo

Random conversations from the past few weeks. All true (cross my heart).

As I carry Gabby through the Kidd Brewer Stadium parking lot following an App game, we pass several members of the marching band heading back to the music building.
Gabby: Bye, music. Bye-bye, music!

The Teen talks to the Wife about her possible plans for a Friday night.
The Teen: I think I might go to the .. uh … football game at the high school.
Gabby: (overhearing) You not go to the football game, sissy. Gabby go to the football game! Daddy take Gabby to the football game. You not go!

Gabby finds an empty bag of miniature Chips Ahoy cookies.
Gabby: Look! Cookies! Gabby wants a cookie!
(digs in bag, finds nothing)
Wife: It’s empty, Gabby. Sissy ate all the cookies in that bag.
Gabby: (scrunching up her face) Bad, sissy! Bad! I go and spank sissy.
(Walks off to sissy’s room)
Gabby: I’m gonna spank you sissy. You bad. You no eat all the cookies!
(The Teen is in her room with the door closed)
Gabby: (banging on the door) You hear me sissy! You bad! I’m gonne spank you!

There’s drama at the daycare
Wife: Gabby, tell da-da what happened at school today.
Gabby: (holding out arm) Girl bite me da-da.
Me: (seeing dark bite mark on her arm) A girl bit you. What did you do when she bit you?
Gabby: I beat her up!
(No, she didn’t … but she has the right idea, huh?)

Gabby’s version of The Mickey Mouse Roll Call meeting the Neverending Story
Gabby: Do you eat chicken nuggets, da-da?
Me: Yes, I eat chicken nuggets. Do you like nuggets, Gabby?
Gabby: Uh-huh, I eat chicken nuggets
Gabby: Do you eat apples, da-da?
Me: Yes, I eat apples. Do you like apples, Gabby?
Gabby: Uh-huh, I eat apples.
Gabby: Do you like eggs, da-da?
(And so it continues, through yogurt, steak, peanut butter, cookies, pancakes, broccoli, …)

The Wife is breastfeeding Big G, which Gabby refers to as “eating on mommy.”
Me: Gabby, do you want to eat on mommy?
Gabby: No! Gross! Gabby not eat on mommy.
Me: Say, ‘I’m not a lesbian!’
Gabby: Gabby not a lesbian .. Gabby the FLOWERGIRL!

Unbeknownst to me, the wife has hit on a new scheme to break Gabby of her beloved pacifier. She uses as bait something Gabby saw – and now wants – at her cousin’s house.
Gabby: Hi, da-da. Gabby gonna give pacy to Santa Claus.
Me: You are?
Gabby: Uh-huh. Gabby gonna give pacy to Santa Claus and Santa Claus gonna give Gabby sea monkeys.
Me: He’s gonna give you what?
Gabby: He gonna bring me sea monkeys.

I was recently baptized at our church. It took place in a tank inside the church behind the choir area. The Wife had Gabby with her in the pews to watch. As I walked out to the preacher, I could hear Gabby.
Gabby: (pretty loud) There’s da-da! Da-da in the pool! I wanna get in the pool with da-da!

Gabby has a new favorite song, which she makes her own with some improvision. Here’s an example of me rocking her to sleep
Gabby: Sing ‘Wheels on the Bus,’ da-da.
Me: The wheels on the bus go … (I pause for her)
Gabby: Round and round, round and round, round and round (she stops)
Me: The wheels on the bus go … (pause)
Gabby: Round and round.
Both of us: All .. through … the town.
Me: (being silly) The Yosef on the bus goes … (pause)
Gabby: Hi Gabrielle. Hi Gabrielle. Hi Gabrielle.
Me: The Yosef on the bus goes .. (pause)
Gabby: Hi Gabrielle
Both of us: All .. through .. the town.

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