Come on and help a Mountaineer out
WANTED: Your current issue of Sports Illustrated!
WHEN: Whenever you’re done with it. It’s all good.
HOW: Drop me a line. We’ll work it out.
WHY: Glad you asked:
No. 1 – With the ongoing renovation of our house slowly (hopefully) soon to be complete, my boy Big G will have his own room. I’m gonna App it up, smother it in so much black and gold it would make a Catamount’s eyes vomit. An SI border would set it off just right.
No. 2 – Boone is teeny tiny, smaller than Chris Berman’s modesty and about as developed. I can count on one hand the number of local outlets that stock SI. This week’s issue is the Jessica Alba of Mountaineer football fantasies. Everyone wants a piece, but there’s a limited supply of Valtrex available. (Yes that was was totally uncalled for and completely horrid of me, but so was her contribution to Fantastic Four)
No. 3 – In this day of global warming, deforestation and upcoming environmental disaster, you would be contributing to a truly novel recycling program! For every issue you send my way, your local landfill will be saved yet another 8-year decomposition project as gruesome and ugly as what’s currently ongoing in South Bend.
No. 5 – If you don’t, you’ll make Big G cry. Could you live with that?