Senseless in Seattle

So over the top … or is it? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The great state of Washington (official motto: “You sure you don’t mean the district?”) has decided the fastest growing sport in these United States is a bit … em … *overdramatic cough* … beneath it. The land known for excessive rain has officially declared NASCAR persona non wanta.

The company itself is fine, of course. It’s the … uh … *brushes imaginary dust off shoulder* … elements the … uh … *does annoying fingers as quotation marks thing* … sport … attracts. Just click here.

I have some advice for those who wander the great northwest. If you’re pretty confidant someone is a redneck, it isn’t a good idea to antagonize them. And before imagining their front yard, consider your neighborhood of sore losers, choke artists and basement dwellers. It’s a rarity someone who actually wants to be there. NASCAR could only increase your professional sports’ property values.

So, good luck with that wine and cheese attitude. Just know this. If NASCAR wants a race in your yard, it will get a race in your yard. Better start talking nice like. We rednecks can hold a grudge.

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