Lesson learned – never trust a chatty

As soon as I post this, I see this. If you need tickets, go there now. Nevermind.

Hi .. I’m Joe Isuzu .. You have my word on itThe only thing more difficult to find today than a spare ticket to Chattanooga is a ticket to a good seat in Chattanooga. Add it to the list of unicorns, dragons and Western Carolina pride – objects that exist only in our imagination (or, in the case of the latter, a nightmare.)

It appears Finley Stadium was designed by MC Escher. Every seat is parallel to the end zone, and the labels “north” and “south” are as interchangeable as “Duke and “sucks.” At least, that’s my theory after four days of navigating the insanity that is the Greater Lesser Chattanooga Sports Committee. If clues were horses, this group would be riding mules. (And good luck differentiating the rider from the ridden.)

No one knows exactly what happened with the ticket system. Sixteen-digit Sudokus are easier to solve than the Mystery of the Missing Allocation. It does appear that a boast last week of 8,000 tickets sold was as much an overstatement as Youngstown State’s defensive prowess. What the LCSC meant to say was, about 8,000 tickets had been given away, or at half price. Call it the ESPN Mobile Strategy – brag you have a hot ticket while forgoing actually receiving cold cash.

You see, good headlines are the goal. Tell enough people tickets are selling and oh my gosh, maybe the unwashed masses will believe it and buy a few themselves. At full price even. Behold the power of positive promoting. At least, until, you know .. the people who actually have an interest in being at the game enter the picture. Then, like said ESPN Mobile, it all goes to pot.

Here are three examples.

1. – I talked to people who got tickets last week online, before the semifinals. They hedged their budgets that App would be in Chattanooga. Their seats are closer to the end zone then the goal posts. So no good came of playing the odds.

2. – I talked to people who stood in the championship ticket line Saturday night after the big App victory. They were sold tickets marked South when the App section was supposed to be North. Those were the tickets the LCSC delivered.

3. – I was one of those people who stood in line Monday. Many were there close to three hours. All were rewarded with – again – seats perfect for appreciating endzone design and construction. Well done, LCSC.

I’m sure somewhere, someone has seats between the 40s. And I’m sure said person has as much interest in the game as Rosie O’Donnell does in modesty. I’m also sure that, come Friday night at about 11 p.m., when fireworks fly and Mountaineers dance the dance of repitition, no one will dwell on where they sat or who else was sitting where, or how they managed to snag some metal. It will only matter that they were there, and that’s what the LCSC is counting on.

But I’ll remember. Next year, I’m scouting Chatty early. I wouldn’t trust them again.


2 thoughts on “Lesson learned – never trust a chatty

  1. My husband, who is from the area, said to tell you that Chattanooga politics and it’s old buddy system, is more crooked than Mocassin Bend on the Tennessee River. Somebody is making money on this deal.

  2. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with goal post seats. I was one of the FIRST people in line after Saturday’s game. (Thanks to your head’s up about the tickets going on sale.) And I still got nose bleed seats at about the 5 yard line! Our seats last year were BETTER than these, and we bought them the day before the game on a whim! Too bad Kidd Brewer can’t host the championship…

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