Ode to my Olympic hero

He WILL make you tap

Sung to the tune of Big Bad John. If confused, read this.

It’s true.
It’s true.

He won an Oympic gold with a broken freakin’ neck
Made the jump to the pros, didn’t miss a step.
Kind of nerdy at the start boasting of 3 Is
He became Eurocontinental before our eyes, it’s true.

You suck.
You Suuuuuuuck.
Kurt Angle Sucks.
It’s true.

Nobody could stop him as he rose to the top.
He became world champ one night by beating The Rock.
Always screaming loudly, then dropping his strap
He’d grab an ankle and make the biggest man tap, it’s true.
He could play a mean guitar for a wrestling machine.
He once drank milk a day old, to prove he’s extreme.
Steph McMahon once fell for him when Trips wasn’t near,
Kurt’s a virgin, but his intentions were clear, it’s true.

You suck.
You Suuuuuuuuck.
Kurt Angle Sucks.
It’s true.

old school kurt
He had a head full of fair till Edge came along.
He was beaten baldheaded, but came back strong.
Kojack with muscles and a spine two-feet thick
The most vicious son of a bitch you’d ever messed with, it’s true.
When the fanfare played and he hit the stage,
You could see him chewing on his mouthpiece to contain his rage.
Once through the ropes the caged animal was free
Olympic slam, he’s done. One. Two. Three. It’s true.

Kurt sucks.
Kurt Sucks.
Kurt Angle Sucks.
It’s true.

Then came the day in a house show ring,
He pulled his groin, but ignored the sting.
He remained in action, tore more muscle from his bone,
Still he continued, then his hamstring was gone, it’s true.
At the end of he bout he hobbled up for the cheers
It would be the last match of his storied career.
The strap had been pulled down for the very last time.
Your Olympic Hero, Kurt Angle, broken down in his prime.
It’s true.

You suck.
You suuuuck.
Kurt Angle sucks.
It’s true.

Never again in the ring but we won’t forget,
His fire and passion, he has no regrets.
He brought his best every night and for the fans came through.
He’ll be missed, here’s the cue, it’s true … it’s damn true.

You suck.
You suuuuuuuuck.
Kurt Angle sucks.
It’s true.

3 Is baby

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