What happens in Vegas, gets blogged

I wish I had moved that pillow

Impressions from Sin City, based on our five-day stay.

– The best meal we enjoyed was at The Fiesta Casino in Henderson. Its buffet rocked the party that rocked the body. It cost roughly $11 a mouth, but included your choice of some 50 selections and just as many desserts. The wife tried the Mongolian beef and enjoyed it so much she wrapped her leftovers in napkins and snuck them out. (Yes, we can be quite the hillbillies at times).

– To buttress that last point, I mentioned earlier the state of my shorts upon our arrival to Vegas. I kept them on until we picked up our rental car at Budget. After packing up the family in the front and the suitcases in the back, I took a quick glance around. Figuring what the hell, this is Vegas, I dropped trou there in the lot and slipped on some clean shorts. Cause what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas … unless you blog about Vegas. Still, me in my draw’s has to be less revolting than Rita Rudner in concert, and her mug is on billboards.

– The worst meal was at the Omelet House, home of the so-called best breakfast in Las Vegas (by the way, every business seems to call itself the best blahblahblah in Vegas). We were served sour milk and brick biscuits. The chocolate chip pancakes were good, and the coffee kept coming, but you can’t trust a place with hard biscuits.
there's nothing like one!
– Yes, Vegas can be fun for families. Circus, Circus is a great spot, filled with carnival attractions and games. There’s also a small-time circus show every so often. Just about every casino we visited had some cool sights, such as live tigers, water shows, gondola rides, street performers, rollar coasters, live nude shows, etc. By the way, for every boob a guy could see there were plenty of pecs for the ladies.

– I can’t overstate how friendly everyone we met was. Granted, most were working for tips, but it was still rather shocking. From the police to resort staff to valets to casino workers to waitresses, everyone was so … so … nice. Chatty even. A few were creepy, yes, but most were straight from Pleasentville. The only rudeness we encountered was during our stopover in Chicago, but that was expected. Yankees live there.

– Our resot was okay. I can’t say I’d stay there again. It was home to a conference I attended, so I had a good rate. But it was just odd. Usually hotels fall into one of two categories – no frills with any amenities coming at an additional cost, or high-quality luxary resorts complete with petals thrown at your feet (or, at least there should be). We stayed at what I would call a tweener, a high-falutin resort with the attitude of a Myrtle Beach Super 8. Our resort had valet parking, three pools, a beach area and a spa. Yet our room came with two room-temperature water bottles tagged with instructions that they were for our “convenience” at $5 a swig. Plus all Internet access was $4.95 a hour, or $9.95 a day. Sweet raisin cinnamon, the Hardee’s in Boone has free wifi, but the Vegas Hyatt wants a Hamilton for me to read mjd. Not cool.

– Not once did the wife or I touch a slot machine or card table. Why? Because the only thing deader than Vegas soil is the look in the eye of anyone in a casino. Not one gambler I saw ever appeared to be having fun or even amusing themself. Even at the card tables, everyone carried a constipated Betty Davis look about them. More than once I felt like Shaun of the Dead trapped amidst blinking lights, ringing bells and ugly carpet. Screw that.

– Vegas has a lot of Asians. One night while exploring we came across Chinatown, Las Vegas. If only we’d known beforehand. I’m confident I missed some great food, and for me, vacations are all about great food. SIGH.

– Overall, it was a nice enough trip that I was a bit disappointed to return home. Nothing against home, of course, but we don’t have anything like this place nearby. Double SIGH. At least we have trees.


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