Two years later

I bet her arms got tired

Monday was our second anniversary. During a few brief moments, my wedded mind entertained thoughts of a single life forever gone. I couldn’t help but ponder, how does life before the ring compare to after? Well …

Single: You don’t remember much of last night because you drank too much.
Married: You don’t remember much of last night because the baby couldn’t drink enough.

Single: Always watching the final seconds of an NBA Game 7 on television live.
Married: Always watching the final seconds of an NBA Game 7 on SportsCenter highlights.

Single: A common dinner at home is macaroni and cheese.
Married: A common dinner at home is macaroni and cheese, with steak, broccoli, mashed potatoes and salad …. and maybe dessert.

Single: Improvisation.
Married: Routine.

Single: Beer money takes a huge bite of your budget.
Married: Your budget takes a huge bite of your beer money (if indeed there is any).

Single: “Can I crash here tonight.”
Married: “Do you have any vacancies?”

Single: Cold showers.
Married: Warm toilet seats.

Single: That usual nervous hesitation before calling for that first date.
Married: That usual nervous hesitation before calling for that extra 30 minutes out with the guys.

Single: “The night is young!”
Married: “We’re getting old.”

Single: Trial and Error.
Married: Practice makes Perfect.

Single: Car payment, utilities, credit cards and rent.
Married: Car payments, utilities, credit cards and mortgage … and health insurance, day care, pediatric bills, lunch money, Space Camp, viola rental, etc.

Single: Picture frames.
Married: Picture albums.

Single: “Hello-o-o-o-o nurse!”
Married: “Hi Peg.”

Single: Renting Chasing Amy.
Married: Watching Judging Amy.

Single: Your bed has no boundaries!
Married: You will sleep on the left-hand side until the day you die.

Single: Hooters.
Married: Red Lobster.

Single: Weekends painting the town red.
Married: Weekends painting the house white.

Single: “You had me at hello.”
Married: “Don’t forget to buy toilet paper.”

Single: “One hundred bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beer …”
Married: “The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout …”

Single: Looking forward to going out.
Married: Looking forward to going home.

Single: Chores.
Married: Responsibilities.

Single: Bragging to the guys about last night.
Married: Bragging to the guys about first steps.

Single: “Do you have any drink specials?”
Married: “Do you have a kids menu?”

Single: Concerts at Verizon Amphitheater.
Married: Concerts at Cove Creek Elementary.

Single: Modesty.
Married: Nonchalance.

Single: Eddie Murphy Raw. (“Give me half, Ed-EEE.”)
Married: Bill Cosby: Himself. (“Eggs! Eggs are in chocolate cake!”)

Single: “Call me sometime.”
Married: “Call me when you get there.”

Single: Always looking for that special somone.
Married: Always knowing you found her.

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4 thoughts on “Two years later

  1. Right on the money! Getting married changes everything, even the little things you never gave much thought to. But, I’ve found that in most cases, it’s worth it.

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

  2. Happy Anniversary! The hubby and I are on year 3, but no kids, so some of the “single” topics still apply to us. My favorite is the “can I crash here” vs. “do you have any vacancies”. Funny how your house turns into a hotel when you’re married. The house has to be super clean when people come over too- not something I worried about as much when I was single. (Maybe because I was able to keep it clean when I was living alone!)

  3. Pingback: What’s hAPPening » Carnival of the Mountaineers

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