Rhymes to rock a bye baby

don't click so loud

Most evenings it’s my pleasure to orchestra the daily symphony we call “Gabrielle’s Bedtime in B Minor.” It always ends with me killing rocking her softly with my songs. A common refrain is my version of “Hush Little Baby.” I say my version because I can never remember what comes after the diamond ring. So I ad-lib, and it goes a little something like this (and yes, at times I have to pause for a rhyme):

Hush little baby, don’t say a word,
daddy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.
If that mocking bird don’t sing,
daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring doesn’t shine,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a bottle of wine.
If that bottle of wine gets broke,
daddy’s gonna buy you a billy goat.

If that billy goat chews toys,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a few Bratz boys.
If those Bratz boys are too wild,
daddy’s gonna buy you …. salsa that’s mild.

If that salsa has no bite,
daddy’s gonna buy you a new night light.
If that new night light burns out,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a big pig snout.

If that big pig snout’s too gross,
daddy’s gonna buy you a piece of toast.
If that piece of toast is eaten,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a doll of Wil Wheaton.

If that Wil Wheaton doll’s not cool,
daddy’s gonna buy you a ride to school.
If that ride to school’s too long,
daddy’s gonna buy you a brand new song.

When that brand new song gets sung,
daddy’s goona buy you … a ladder rung.
When that ladder rung is climbed,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a Mercury dime.

If that Mercury dime’s too old,
daddy’s gonna buy you a piece of gold.
If that piece of gold’s too heavy,
daddy’s gonna buy you a brand new Chevy.

If that brand new Chevy doesn’t run,
daddy’s gonna buy you a hamburger bun.
If that hamburger bun gets stale,
daddy’s gonna buy you the county jail.

If that county jail does stink,
daddy’s gonna buy you a skating rink.
If that skating rink is closed,
daddy’s gonna by you … some brand new clothes.

When those brand new clothes get small,
daddy’s gonna buy you the Boone Mall.
If that Boone Mall makes no money,
daddy’s gonna buy you … a clown that’s funny.

If that clown that’s funny’s really sad,
daddy’s gonna buy you a passing fad.
When that passing fad goes away,
daddy’s gonna rock you again some day.

By about this point she’s either one block from unconsciousness or confusion. In both cases she drops right off. The ritual is a great tradeoff – she gets several stanzas of new words and phrases, I get a reminder that I’d be beat down in a rap battle.

I also get to play a similar singing game with the preteen. Until she met me she’d never heard of this classic. Even the wife signs along!

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3 thoughts on “Rhymes to rock a bye baby

  1. Pingback: Popcorn Dreams » Blog Archive » Random robservations

  2. For several months Gabby was blessed with what the doctor called “angel kisses” on her eyelids. There were dark marks there that have since faded considerably.

    I think my lighting in this shot may have over emphasized the red on her eye lids and lips. You’re not the only one to comment on that. Trust me, she’s sleeping soundly and pleasently.

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