Cyclops stole his woman

Kill him Scott. KILL HIM!Superman Returns next week. The Movie Reporter website has 11 clips online. You’ll have to ignore the seizure-inducing ads surrounding the clips, as well as the always annoying talking smiley spots (If Bill Gates designed seven layers of hell, I’m confident smileys would populate floors two through four. That damned talking paperclip would rule the others).

The most amusing aspect of the clips – and probably the only real attraction for me to see this movie – is the abject whining between Clark Kent and Lori’s new beau Richard White, played by James Marsden. Since you can see his unobscured face in this movie you may not recognize him, but he was Cyclops in the X-Men trilogy. Rumor is his involvement with the DC flick cost him his life in X-Men:TLS.

So, in my world, this movie is about how a Marvel guy stole Superman’s girlfriend. That’s all I need to be entertained. Who cares how Lex wants to rule the world, Professor X’s resident nerd romancing the Man of Steel’s fantasy girl will amuse me to no end (Yes, I’m that easily – and sadly – entertained).

If not for imposing my own wrinkle in the script I have no real desire to see this film. I loved the original Superman movies, with Supes II a particular favorite. But this new re-imagining of the character and his world does nothing for me. Part of it is the overwrought conception of this film, which you can read in agonizing detail here. It’s a three-hour read (or feels that way) and offers great insight into the miracle of any movie ever attracting an audience.

On the positive side, the producers did retain some of John Williams’ work and the special effects look pretty smooth. Unfortunately the movie is drenched in chick-flick sentiments and clunky dialouge. Think Dawson’s Creek with a kick butt soundtrack.

I’ll be in the theater for this one, but I’m braced for the worse – I’m pretty sure Kent will get the girl in the end. Sorry Scott.

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