The NBA Finals open tonight. The mighty mjd has made an impressive case for why he has the Mavs in five. I’m sitting in the same stands as he with a few reasons of my own, none of which have anything to do with action on the court.
1. The NC Factor – The Mavericks have two players from North Carolina – Jerry Stackhouse and Josh Howard. Miami, none. Since 1990, every NBA champion has boasted a player who starred in college along Tobacco Road – MJ (Chicago), Kenny Smith (Houston), Tim Duncan (SA), Rick Fox (LA) and Rasheed Wallace (Detriot).
Fun Fact – Since 1981, all but two NBA Finals featured a starter who played college ball in N.C. Look it up.
2. The APP Factor – Dallas is home to the NFL Cowboys, who drafted Dexter Coakley from Appalachian State in 1996. He became a rookie starter at linebacker, missed just one game in eight seasons, set several team tackle records and went to three Pro Bowls before Tuna let him go to the Rams. Miami is home to the Dolphins. In 2002 they signed App State great Justin Seaverns. He quickly caught a staph infection from the team hot tub and never played a down.
Plus, D-Wade once torched Appalachian for 31 points in a 23-point win for Marquette. Bastard.
3. The Expansion Factor – The Hornets and Heat entered the league in the same season. They were natural rivals. I loved the Hornets, hated the Heat. My team’s gone, but I haven’t lost that hatin’ feelin. Alonzo Mourning was drafted by the Hornets. He now plays for the Heat. Traitor.
4. The Coach Factor – Dallas is coached by Avery Johnson, who sounds exactly like an ernest Darius Rucker (I own four Hootie albums). Miami is coached/managed by Pat Riley, who is starting to resemble Gary Oldman in Dracula. He acts like him to, just ask Stan Van Gundy. “They say you are a man of good… taste.”
5. The Owner Factor – Dallas is owned by Mark Cuban, who blogs, parties and has more hair than the Heat starting five. I have no clue who owns Miami, but they hired Riley.
6. The Hollywood Factor – “Maverick” starred Jodie Foster, a woman so hot a guy shot a president to impress her. “Heat” featured Ashley Judd, who is just as smokin’. Nod goes to the one with the most screen time. (Please note, Natalie Portman was also in “Heat”, but severely underage, and that’s just wrong).